I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
