When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
