This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
