Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
