Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
