She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
