I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
