fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
