dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
only you would photoshop your dick
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
