You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
