My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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