I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
