I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
