There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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