God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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