he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Randomize
