the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
