i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
