I feel like I'm in dance class right now
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
