Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
