Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
How does one acquire holy water?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
