Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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