Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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