One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
