i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
high people should be assigned attendants
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You made out with two different species that night
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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