My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
