if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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