My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
honey bunches of taint.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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