i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
