he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You dont lie about slip and slides
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
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