It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
