I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
