New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
