Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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