would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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