Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
