I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
