So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
