I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
