no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
