lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
please come you make the beer taste better
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
