Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
