..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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