boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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