We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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