I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
