If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
