and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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