I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
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