Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
i believe in u and ur pee
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
