I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
